Moby Dick: If you’re a weasley-looking, self-righteous vegan of limited musical ability and even more limited muscle mass who manages to bed Natalie Portman, please try to be a gentleman about it. [NYPost]

N’Stink: Ever wonder what all that stuff in Justin Timberlake’s hair smells like? It’s Givenchy. [Catwalk Queen]

“The Bubbles Tickle My Nose”: Behold! The chick drink of tomorrow![PSFK]

Who Knew?: In a city of queues and lines, perhaps the strangest is outside of Abercrombie & Fitch. [Racked]

Offensive Foul: Crocs, the ideal merchandising tie-in for the today’s uptempo, run-and-gun NBA. [Just-Style]

My Beautiful Launderette: Design is only a rinse cycle away. [Kitsune Noir]

“Does Tom Ford Hate The Straights?”: Sorry, Gawker, we were a bit distracted by these pics here. What were you saying? [Gawker]

“Marc Jacobs Plagiarized My Dad’s Scarf”: Just imagine how pissed he’ll be when the knockoffs start showing up on Canal Street. [The Local, Sweden]

A Beautiful Day in The Neighborhood: Please join us on March 20th by wearing a sweater in honor of Mr. Rogers, won’t you? [AP]

Teenage Wasteland: Okay! Enough with the Cory Kennedy already. [Everyone, Everywhere]

Man of Letters: Original preppie king, Goldwater Conservative and trad icon William F. Buckley grabs a wing chair in that great club room in the sky. [Observer]

Theme Song: Remember Rock&Roll? Their new tribute to Milan Fashion week is called, “Coke Freaks and Fashion Whores.” Sounds right to us. [WWD]

“You’ll Never Go Wrong Dressing Plain and Dull”: This only works when running for national office. Otherwise, feel free to dress like a Somali elder. [Chicago Tribune]

The Keith Richards Workout: “For me, doing a Rolling Stones show for two hours a night, that’s enough f*in’ exercise, you know? Then I’ve got to go to bed with the old lady, bonka bonka. You know?” We know, Keef. We know. [Digital Spy]

Simple Statutes: Oh, sorry, did we forget to post Esquire’s New Laws of Casual Style? Here, let’s fix that. [Esquire]

Roger, Wilco, Out: StyleDash thinks Jeff Tweedy needs a style intervention due to his SNL appearance in a nudie suit. Similarly, we think Style Dash needs a music intervention due to their apparent ignorance of the Flying Burrito Brothers (video). [StyleDash]

Team Colors: An interview with sideline style leader and coach of the 5-and-11 49ers, Mike Nolan. [HuffPo]

Housing Futures: Figuring that all the collapsing real estate market needs is a fresh blazer, “Fashion Futurist Geoffrey Beane” (say whaa?) is teaming up with Century 21 (not the store) to redesign their iconic gold jacket. [Business Wire]

For Absolute Beginners: Buying into Mod style. [ModCulture via Retro to Go]

Best Men: Engineered Garments brings home the inaugural GQ/CFDA Best New Menswear Designers in America award (oh, and $50,000). [Men.Style]

Leading Lights: Luring men toward a new shaving cream is much like luring mosquitos to a high-voltage death. [NYTimes]

Historical Threads: Classic American style parsed. [A Continuous Lean]

It’s Not Easy Being Green: Kermit the Frog gets his slimy, webbed hands on Terry Richardson—or is that the other way around? [Skidknee]

Negative Reaction: Kenneth Cole falls $3.1 million into debt. Where be your cheeky billboards now? [DNRNews]

Cardigan Cabal: The international press is conspiring to make the Cardigan today’s, “dead sexy chick magnet.” Almost Orwellian, ain’t it?

Restoration Hardware: John Varvatos’ conversion of CBGB’s is taking for-frigging-ever. [Racked]

Lil’ Bit More: Crunk poet and Renaissance man Lil’ John not only has his own celeb clothing line on the way, but is currently vintnering up a storm at Little Jonathan Winery. All class that one. [Pro Hip Hop]

Collateral Damage: The new Bond film is an absolute blood fest, destroying one innocent Tom Ford suit after another. [VogueUK]

Co-Ed Naked Design: Matthew McConcaughey and his old lady create new clothes to shed while walking on sunny pacific beaches. [Gawker]

Monogram

Top Banana: Monogram, Banana Republic’s high-end branch line, will open its first stand-alone store on Bleecker Street next month. [DNRNews]

The Candy Man: Like so many celebrities, Willy Wonka has a fashion line. [LA Times]

Cut to Fit: A blogger’s first foray into Hong-Kong bespoke sends him into revery. [Men’s Flair]

The Source: A long hard look at the fabrics that separate the name brands from the knockoffs. [IHT]

Hats Off: The dizzying heights and heartbreaking lows of the newsboy cap. [Magnificent Bastard]

New York Noise: T charts the dress codes of your favorite local bands… and Vampire Weekend. Taste the backlash. [T Online]

Spice World: Unsatisfied with her successful campaign against feminine style and grace, Victoria Beckham attacks men’s clothing. [DNRNews]

LeBron Shoots: King James takes his career—and Tom Brady’s girl—in his hands by posing next to Gisele “Game Killer” Bundchen on the cover of Vogue. [NYMag]

Land War: Join the fight as Diesel and Tommy Hilfiger battle for control of Manhattan in a Fifth Avenue cage match to the death. [Antara and DNRNews]

Girls Dressing Boys: Liz Claiborne and Donna Karen International are teaming up on a new DKNY line. Neither Donna or Liz will be involved as they are retired and dead - respectively of course. [Reuters]

Fashion Capital: The fashion industry is already chasing after New York’s awesomely non-disgraced new Governor. [DNRNews]

Spank Rock: An Irish “Sperm for Tickets” scheme gets way out of hand. Sorry about that. [NME via Radar]

Paris, je t’aime: Next time you’re strolling by the Seine, pop into the stunning April 77 store. [Refinery 29]

Stepping Light: Rough day? Sit back and enjoy Common Projects’ relaxing spring collection. [Common Projects]

Mr. Mom: First, she was a woman. Then, he was a man. Now, he’s pregnant and we’re dizzy. [HuffPo]

Tom Boy?: In related news, Tom Ford also plans to poop out a kid. [NYMag]

Trend Setters:Working hard to keep up to date on urbane tomboys, alternadads and all those other mythical creatures of lifestyle lore? A short peek at Radar will keep you ahead of the curve. [Radar Online]

Three Pointer: After years of sitting on the bench, Michael Jordan finally shows some game by employing Tex Winter’s famous “Triangle Offense” in Miami. [NYPost]

Chic Picks: Free music from everyone’s favorite fashion oracles. [Refinery29]

Who Wears Short Shorts?: Styledash don’t want to see none of your inner thighs. [Styledash]

Go Greyhound: Like every other used and abused streetwalker who’s seen too many hard New York nights, Fashion Week may be shuffling over to the Port Authority. [NYMag]

Go Back to Jersey: What’s wrong with Joey Pants? Try everything. [Magnificent Bastard]

Duty Free: Paul Smith takes off at Heathrow, unlike some. [Vogue UK]

Rabbit, Run: Furry chic makes its unsettling debut at Tokyo Fashion Week. [Boing Boing]

“Composition with Yellow, Blue, and Red”: Nike goes all Neo-plasticist on us with the Piet Mondrian Dunk Lows. [NikeSB.org]

Goose Steps: The Cut hashes out this whole Adidas-Puma-Third-Reich thing. [NYMag]

Repeat Performance: Daniel Craig, star of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and some other stuff, wins GQ’s best-dressed award for the second year straight. [Vogue UK]

Signing Out: Portfolio’s fashion blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe waves a “Peace the Fork Out” to the rest of the linkable world. [Portfolio]

Pig-malion: The classiest classy guy in the world of high class wants to play Henry Higgins to Ashley “The Governator” Dupré’s Eliza Doolittle, though we suspect she’s already had her elocution lessons if you know what we mean. No? Us either. [NY Daily News]

Big Top: David Coleman snuggles up to our favorite dandy fabulist and his long, thick hat. [NYTimes]

Bathing Beauty: Get out your water wings and take a dive with Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin. [Men’s Vogue]

Rock-A-Fellas: It’s shaping up to be a banner week for ex-label mates and eternal hustlers Damon Dash and Jay-Z. [NME]

On The Trail: Will this campaign season ever end? [Guardian UK]

Ol’ Blighty: Meanwhile the sceptred isle has its own sartorial issues. [Daily Mail UK]

Style Points: This seasonal scorecard of surviving menswear designers is probably the best digest of critiques we’ve seen all year… except our own, of course. [NYTimes]

Shock Teese: Our favorite burlesque star, Frau Dita Von Teese, once - surprise, surprise - filmed some kinky girl-on-girl porn, some of it hot, some of (particularly the bit with the shoes) not so much. Not to worry, we still file her under “classy broad.” [Fleshbot, soooo NSFW]

Budget Kawakubo: H+M will borrow the outré edge of Comme des Garçons for a limited line this November. [Vogue UK]

Spelunking: Share your mancave with the world. [CNN iReport]

Guy Liner: Pete Wentz creates a make-up line for men, you know, because buying women’s make up is kinda gay. [Styledash]

Deal Alert: Get your Hicky’s. [Racked]

Our Hero: Graydon Carter must know that Kristen Bell, all 5’1” of her, is never far from our hearts. [Vanity Fair]

Music From Big Pink: We grew up listening to The Band. Now a generation of musicians are growing up dressing like them. [WeAreTheMarket]

Fit for a King: His Royal Highness The Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales and Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of blah, blah, blah unveils his new collection of posh men’s accessories. [Men.Style]

Lifetime Contract: “Project Runway” jumps from the cosy, omnisexual stable of Bravo to the gilded henhouse of The Lifetime channel - meaning you’ll have to lie twice as hard about watching it. [NYMag]

Game Design: In utterly predicable news, iPod addict Karl Lagerfeld lends his voice to Grand Theft Auto IV. [WWD]

Frat Brothers: Like any other bored jock in the City, the Manning boys have nothing better to do with their time than hang out at Brother Jimmy’s and play Buck Hunter. Losers. [NYPost]

For Whom The Bell Tolls: Kristen Bell twice in one week? What? You got a problem with that? [FHM]

Den and Geller: Kempt fave Robert Geller opens at Odin’s satellite store. [Men.Style]

Can I Turn it Up for You?: Always classy that Dov Charney. [AnimalNY]

Pay it Forward: Got an extra, unused suit? Pass it on. [EarthTimes]

Get Ready to D.A.N.C.E.: Justice’s new clothing line is just as hip and French as you might expect. [Stereogum]

Deal Alert: Yoko Devereaux springwear starting tomorrow. [Racked]

COS Play: Monocle takes a hard look at H+M’s new branch line and the takes the temperature of European retail. [Monocle]

Rock and Roll Will Never Die: Except when it does. Hey, maybe you kids should have been out there protesting, say, three years ago. [Gothamist]

Where’s Waris?: You ask. We’ve already delivered. [A Continuous Lean]

The Man Who Would Be King: P Diddy’s fashion week documentary about his quest for LOVE! INSPIRATION! and REBELLION! and style’s CROWN! was so MIND-CRUSHINGLY AWESOME! that we couldn’t watch more than 12 seconds of it. [NYMag]

Freak Folk: Always on the hunt for a deep, sensitive mate, Natalie Portman is reportedly nuzzling up to Cripple Crow crooner Devandra Banhart. Yeah, we don’t know how we feel about this one either. We mean, he is wearing a woman’s jacket. [Egotastic]

Napoleon Complex: Lil’, wee plutocrat Nic Sarkozy is kicking up a press dust storm in his fierce heels. [Shoeblogs]

What Would Moz Do?: Dress like Morrissey and you’re set for life. [Style Salvage]

Spit and Polish: The geopolitics of the shoeshine. [NYT via On The Fly]

Throwing Sparks: Sharp dockside looks from Philip Sparks. [Philipsparks via Notcouture]

Blinded by the White: N.B. to African-American society partygoers - some photogs may require you use nametags. [Radar]

Environmental Hang Up: Going green starts at your dry cleaner. [Fox23]

Out of Africa: A brief history of the safari jacket. [Mercury News]

New Journalism: The Wall Street Journal is set to launch a new luxury magazine to compete with the Times’ glossy insert, T. Yes, yes - you’re right - they’re calling it WSJ. [Editor and Publisher]

Luxury Hacks: Next time you’re in Moscow, flag down a Maybach. [Autopark]

Home, Jeeves: In other auto news, The Chauffeur magazine has named its “Car of the Year.” The Chauffeur magazine? We should really get our guy a subscription for his birthday. [Autoblog]

Through Thick and Thin: Personally, we’ve always preferred Christina Ricci in her more well-rounded, Buffalo66 days. Not that we’ve got a problem with the carb-free model here. [BlackBook]

Some Like it Very, Very Hot: Just like Paris Hilton, Marilyn Monroe filmed a sex tape before she became a tragic victim of her own fame. Unlike Hilton, Monroe’s oral exam may never make it to your desktop. [NYPost]

Labor Party: A charming, lil’ British-TV presenter is set to star in a reality show based in a faux London sweatshop. This is a good thing, right? [Female First UK]

“Tired of Being Sexy” Hot, hipster mess CSS loses its bassist to fashion—which is apparently the modern equivalent of boozing yourself to death in a pool. [CMJ]

Chat Stew: The dapper king of our TiVo, Joel McHale, sits down to discuss his J. Lindberg jackets, Air Jordans and, wouldn’t you know it, Tyra. [Sign on San Diego]

Slim Jims: Men’s Vogue collects the best slim-cut suits of the season so we don’t have to. [Men’s Vogue]

American Public: Sticky, icky Dov Charney lets the Wall Street Journal into his factory, his office and his infamous bedroom where he takes cloyingly erotic photos of the once-respected broadsheet in a Lycra catsuit. [Radar]

Funny Money: In these penny-pinching times, who couldn’t use a little more levity in their wallet? [Refinery29]

The Family Business: Father-and-son art aficionados bond over checks and English cuts. [NYMag]

Brooklyn Boys: Racked takes the F over to Boerum Hill’s new And Then Some. [Racked]

Drip Dry: Forget the cleaners. A new Japanese suit is designed for cleaning in the shower. Loofa anyone? [Theindian]

The Great Rock and Roll Swindle: Legendary venue goes from club to store, back to club and then right back to store again. Protestors still desperately searching for lives. [Vanityfair.com]

Sky King: Per usual, Prince William makes us commoners look like chumps. [Daily Mail]

Hail Married: Eli Manning wraps up his improbable championship season by beating both brother Peyton and arch-rival Tom Brady to the alter. [UPI]

Hump Day: You totally owe us for these Alessandra Ambrosio shots. [Hollywood Tuna]

NY-LON Suits: Paul Smith’s London bespoke team takes a field trip to Soho (sorry, our Soho). [WWD]

Sidelined:And thus ends an epic season for the NHL’s Dennis Rodman. [NYTimes]

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man: The Lookbook captures a sculptural dresser. [NYMag]

Miley Who?: You might have noticed that we’re not covering a certain controversial photoshoot by a certain 15-year-old teen-pop star in a certain general-interest magazine. Really, we’ve got better things to do with our time. [Maxim]

Saddle Up: If you’re excited about Country-and-Western singer Tim McGraw’s new fragrance, you might be a redneck. [She Knows Best]

Surf and Turf: Put on your bib - these Nikes are best with melted butter. [Trash Bag Aesthetics]

Scarlett Johansson Engaged: [Hands over ears] Nah nah nah—We can’t hear you—nah nah nah. [Radar]

Dirty Sanchez: Blue-eyed, honey-blond men’s fashion reporter Amanda Brooks digs the ‘stache. [ Men’s Vogue]

Zips or Laces?: Why choose? [Refiney29]

Not So Fast: Okay, so maybe Hedi Silmane isn’t teaming up with Diesel - but you can’t blame us for being excited. [WWD, 2nd item]

At Home With The Style Guy: This is how Glenn O’Brien rolls. [NYTimes]

Power Hour: Seems ACL has a “Woman of the Hour” to complement our “Man of the Hour”—personally, we think Chan Marshall goes with anything. [A Continuous Lean]

Stripes on Demand: Inside the bespoke team visit to Paul Smith’s Soho store. [NYMag]

Babystrangles: In this video, hipster model Irina Lazareanu chokes and stomps walking heroin depot (and sometime singer) Pete Doherty to death with her high heels, fulfilling several of our darkest, unspoken fantasies. [NYMag]

Hard-Core Cuts: The changing hairstyles of noted dandies Black Flag documented once and for all. [WFMU]

Above the Knee: More timely advice on men’s shorts. [NYMag]

Sit, Stay, Good Dog: Taking off on the Japanese waif-boy trend, Korean girls are treating their beaus like pets. As long as we get a tummy rub and a biscuit, we’re kinda okay with this. [Geekologie]

Father Knows Best?: The worst TV dads of all time collected just in time for father’s day. You can always say to yourself, “Well, at least Pops was no Eric Camden.” [Art of Manliness]

Flip Flopper: Blue-eyed, honey-blond men’s fashion blogger Amanda Brooks can play with our thongs anytime. [Men’s Vogue]

Pure Oscar Gold: There’s something about Fridays and Charilze Theron that just works. [Egotastic]

Bush Warrior: A Scottish pilot get’s top-brass approval for his handlebar mustache. Good to see there’s some progress in Afghanistan. [BBC]

Kick Up Some Dirt: Seeking a leather alternative to sneakers in these hot times? These boots are perfect for navigating the sand storms of Manhattan. [The Moment]

We Can’t Fix You: Aww, poor self-deifying mope rocker Chris Martin didn’t like the questions Radio 4 asked him. Bono never had to put up with this. [BBC]

Sweet Leaf: Hicky Freeman reopens, stoner iconography intact. [NYMag]

Fighting Over the Flow: Some sucka is suing the Jigga claiming he thieved his style. This may be the worst idea ever. [New Kerala]

Same Ol’, Same Ol’: Another day, another photospread of Gisele Bundchen looking so impossibly hot. It’s almost boring at this point. Wait. This one’s got video? Nevermind then. [GQ]

Under Lock and Key: Fashionable alternatives to that old carabiner you picked up durning your “crunchy granola” phase freshman year. [A Continuous Lean]

Dude Looks Like a Lady: Liv Tyler seems to be embarrassed about the wardrobe of her biological father, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Some ladies have got no taste. [Contact Music]

Bat Suit: Christian Bale will be rocking Armani in the Dark Knight movie. We always figured Bruce Wayne was more partial to English cuts, but okay. [Brandish]

Call Me: Speaking of Armani and movies, seems Giorgio and Richard Gere made each other’s careers. [The Moment]

Silk Shortage: The dressing gown is dead. The end is nigh! [A Suitable Wardrobe]

Bam! Whack! Pow!: Is there any doubt that Ali Larter is the strongest hero of the Heroes? [Hollywood Tuna]

Shorts and Records?: Well we’re sold. [The Pipeline]

Armani Calls Italians “Slovenly”: Good thing he’s never run into any Americans. [NYMag]

Cutting-Room Floor: A dandy little vid takes us inside a storied Brooklyn tailor’s workspace. [Men.Style]

Crocodile Rock: Or is it an alligator? Whichever, Hint gets in good with Lacoste’s chairman. [Hint]

Nice Weave: Speaking of Lacoste, here’s some tips on polo shirt shopping. Just keep your collar down. [Off The Cuff]

Like a Prune: Wrinkles are not always to be ironed out. [Style Salvage]

Diddy of the Board: Sean Combs says he takes his style inspiration from Frank Sinatra. This breaks our heart a little. [New Kerala]

Could We Love Carla Bruni Any More?: We didn’t think so. Then we read these lyrics. [Radar]

Hot Rods: That emblem on your car’s hood may indicate more than your choice in brands. [Jalopnik]

Turning Japanese: Hedi Slimane is the natural muse of Vogue Homme Japan much as Sean Avery is the natural muse of Men’s Vogue US. [WWD]

Victoria Beckham’s Menswear Line Canceled: Whew. That was a close one. [Female First UK]

Totally Swede: A review of Stockholm Fashion Week. [The Pipeline]

A Solid Grip: Eva Mendez’s hands are always in the wrong place at the right time. [Use My Computer]

The Answer: Guess is targeting the high-end market. Stay tuned. [DNRNews]

The Bum’s Rush: Marc Jacobs was kicked out of an art gallery for looking unacceptably grungy. Oh the shame. [NYPost]

Cinéma Vérité: Josh Brolin gets into a drunken bar fight while filming Oliver Stone’s George W. Bush biopic. If he lost after one punch, he’s really in character. [AC]

Will Chick Pillow Fights Sell Real Estate?: We just made our down payment. [Observer]

Cutting-Edge Prep: That Comme des Garcons Brooks Brothers line is looking pretty damn sharp. [High Snobiety]

A Handle For Your Beer Can: Is as logical and obvious as an eraser on a pencil. [Uncrate]

The world of songwriters can get pretty craggy, especially around the hazy, irony-crusted period known as the seventies. There are mystic troubadors, the emoters and all manner of guitar-addled gurus, but the best of the crop have always been the cynics. From Costello to Zevon, they were the ones who saw the decade from a fashionable remove, always staying one step ahead of critics and, for the most part, the listening public.

Randy Newman, the grand old curmudgeon of the cynics, has taken a break from his film work to put out his first album in nearly a decade. Of course, it’s fairly standard late-career business—impeccably professional but lacking some of his earlier bite—but that shouldn’t stop you from taking another stroll through Newman’s gallery of sycophants, sloths, and generally bad people. For newcomers, we’d recommend a different starting point, but if you already know the man, it’s nice to see him get comfortable.

After a half-dozen pay-what-you-like internet releases, it hardly qualifies as news anymore. But when the album comes from two 70s vets, each with a long, legendary track record, it gets a little closer to newsworthiness.

The duo is David Byrne (occasional MOTH) and Brian Eno (an ambient pioneer and, most recently, the producer of Coldplay’s Viva La Vida), and the new album, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today, is a career highlight for each.

More importantly, the album has been put up Radiohead-style as an offering to the internet and the nascent New Record Industry. Unlike the others, this one’s offered as an embedded stream and we’ve posted it below, meaning it won’t be taking up space on your hard drive, but you can click through any time you want to hear it.

Stream the album and read our take on it»

Terrence Howard, occasional MOTH and reliably excellent actor, is venturing onto the treacherous ground of actor-singers. Howard opened up to the Times, describing his career path as a struggling singer-songwriter. He lists his influences as Don McLean, Jim Croce, and Barry Manilow: a triptych of soft-rock sensitive types. But if what we’re seeing so far is any indication, he may need a more robust icon by the time the album hits stores.

The actor-musician crossover is rarely a good idea—except in the case of Ms. Deschanel, of course—and we have our doubts. Apparently Vulture shares them, since they’re preemptively calling the album “something special.” Only, not in a good way.

One way or another, he’s about to get more seething internet ink than he’ll know what to do with.

After the jump, get a peek at Howard’s live show»