The Beard Next Door: The Christian Right has been searching for a “cure” for homosexuality for decades. Hayden Christensen discovered Rachel Bilson in a fraction of that time. [Gawker]

Candy Ass: The Naked Cowboy doing well in his suit against chocolatier, still regrettably underclothed. [NyMag]

What Chu Talkin’ Bout?: Still button-cute, Gary Coleman proves there’s a 22-year-old girl redhead out there for everyone. Aww. [NYPost]

Hallelujah: Christian sex toys—well fancy that. [NPR]

Throwing Gas: Roger Clemens embarrasses himself before Congress, then testifies. [Magnificent Bastard]

“Fly My Pretties! Fly!”: Channeling The Wizard of Oz, Gareth Pugh sics flying monkeys on London. [FemaleFirst UK]

Tid Bites: Forget the sublime notebooks and cheeky mittens—Kate and Jack Spade’s best debut during Fashion Week was the Smurf-sized breakfast. [Hamish Robertson]

Broad Range: Radha Mitchell has done indie flicks and Vin Diesel movies, so you know she’s flexible. [Esquire]

Endangered Species: Is the Gentleman in short supply? [Times UK]

Flavor of Love: After 10,000 years of history, Man perfects salt… with bacon. [Uncrate]

So Tru: Capote and Sinatra take up residence at Dunhill. [Men.Style]

Deal Alert: Bargains on Band of Outsiders, Cheap Monday and Shipley & Halmos at The News. [Racked]

The Blessed One: Marissa Miller is so hot, her body’s natural response is to cool itself by sweating profusely. [Egotastic]

Fatty Foods: These chain restaurants’ menu items will have you busting your gut before you know it. Avoid them at all costs. [The Bachelor Guy]

Slam Dunk: The new line of Nike SB’s debuted, and if you’re a fan of sneakers, you’re gonna need to cool your boots after looking at these photos. [High Snob Society]

No Longer A Mystery: A breakdown of famous designers’ names and the proper way to pronounce them. Now you’ll know, just in case you ever need to impress a model. [Haute Concept]

Kanye’s Inspiration: Meet the sunglasses that started a movement… A very colorful movement. [Men.Style]

As the Web 2.0 era progresses, the overshare is getting more and more refined. It’s not enough to tell your friends where you are at all times. You tell them what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and most importantly of all, what you’re eating.

Into this unsavory mix comes FoodFeed, a twitter mod devoted entirely to what you, and others like you, are eating right now.

In addition to providing dieticians with some fascinating research fodder, we can’t help but think it’ll be useful to the restaurant industry. Also, as research will confirm, there are currently two people eating jello and one person eating soap.

O brave new world…

It’s all about medium in the art world these days. And as far as mediums go, it’s hard to get hotter than grease.

So it’s not surprising that we ended up with this grease-based Mona Lisa. More surprisingly, it only took ten double burgers to paint the twelve foot likeness. It’s more PR stunt than art—the idea is to show how much grease is actually in one of those things—but Mona herself may be too alluring to make the stunt work.

To be honest, we just feel hungry.

Witness the creation of the Mona Greasa»

We’re well-acquainted with the internet’s insatiable love of bacon, but we’re still glad to see it getting a bit of play in the mainstream press.

Over the past few months, there’s been a web-based rush to invent the most bizarre bacon creation possible (if you were wondering, it’s here) but as strange as the creations seem, the impulse is simpler than you might think. Bacon has always been a bizarre food. It just took the web to show us exactly how bizarre it was. And as usual, the web got a little carried away.

Then again, we’re pretty happy about this…so it’s not all bad.

As you may have noticed, the internet’s gone a bit bacon crazy in the past year or so. But we always assumed it would stop before it got dangerous.

We were wrong.

This is the latest entry in the bacon wars, a protein-packed cannoli of death known as the Flaming Bacon Lance. It’s made entirely of prosciutto—which we like to think of as weapons-grade bacon—and it spits enough flame to melt through a stainless steel tray.

There’s even a cucumber model for a vegetarian equivalent…but somehow it’s just not the same.

See the flaming bacon lance in action»

Go, Joe: Sienna Miller looks great in black and white. [World’s Best Ever]

Buzz, Buzz, Zoom: Tesla Motors makes it out of the red and into the black, astonishing just about everyone. Time for an electric drive? [Gizmodo]

Worst. Meal. Ever.: In the wake of their beloved Chihuahua’s passing, America’s chefs are coming out strong against Taco Bell. [Esquire]

At the Movies: Heath Ledger’s final performance promises to be the weirdest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen. [Vulture]

The Hef Rides Again: We can’t help but feel that some line has been crossed. [Empire Movies]

A Hack: Michael Pollan graces us with still more rules to live by. Since he doesn’t mention candy corn specifically, we’re going to assume it’s ok. [Lifehacker]

It was a Dark and Stormy Post: Secret Forts gets a turn in the spotlight. [Choosy Beggar]

Heart on Sleeve: Gitman Brothers takes us through their label archive, via an oxford button-down. [Selectism]

Range Life: She seems underdressed for farming. [Refinery29]

A Gentleman’s Guide to Not Getting Sauce on Your Face: The mechanics of eating a chicken wing, explained. Seriously, take notes. [Lifehacker]

Smash!: If you only watch one forklift catastrophe video today, make it this one. [Gizmodo]

Glow in the Dark: Seeper Interactive takes over Branchage, UK with one of the more impressive light shows we’ve seen. [wejetset]