In the old days, the drugs-and-whores memoir was a respected literary event. (I’m looking at you, McInerney.) But these days, talking too loudly about your days as a male escort is still enough to get your visa revoked.

Author of the well titled Dandy in the Underworld, Sebastian Horsley planned to have a U.S. book tour this month, but instead he got a charming eight-hour conversation with customs officials and an unceremonious flight back home. Apparently all that talk about opium and amphetamines was enough to invalidate Horsley’s travel waiver, leaving HarperCollins holding the bag. (You’d think Rupert could have pulled some strings…)

The further travails of Mr. Horsley»

Doping has been a known staple of Soviet sports since the famous Drago-Balboa fight, but lately even chess has come under suspicion.

Der Spiegel (via Neatorama) is seizing on Grandmaster Vassily Ivanchuk’s refusal to take a drug test at the recent Chess Olympiad as reason to suspect the chess world of being driven by something more sinister than just caffeine and neurosis. They even have a picture of him suspiciously fingering his nose!

Why we aren’t worried»

Return of the Hall: Jerry Hall emerges from her cocoon for a few slinky Chanel spots. [The Cut]

It’s a Crazy Place: Halston’s online music video/commercial manages to reference Andy Warhol and salvia at the same time. [Racked]

Semi-Biters: The Conde Nast home team’s take on last night’s festivities. Maine goes sadly unheralded. [Material Interest]

Can’t Buy Me Love: Falling stocks and rising passions? Sounds like a trend piece waiting to happen. [NYTimes]

James Toback’s documentary Tyson comes out today, but the director’s relationship with the iconic boxer actually goes back two decades, to when Iron Mike was just a 19-year-old up-and-comer. The movie has moments of humor and sadness—sometimes at the same time, as when he calls Don King a “wretched, slimy, reptilian motherfucker” who “would kill his mother for a dollar.” (But how does he really feel?) We sat down to talk with Toback to talk about whether he’s scared of the champ, Tyson’s curiously strong knowledge of 19th Century poetry, and the perils of the eight-day acid trip.

Kempt: So, Mike Tyson: Crazy or misunderstood?

JT: Certainly misunderstood. Crazy, only in the sense that he’s not a conventional, linear person, and is on his own channel, in a kind of uncompromising way.

K: So why do so many people think this guy is nuts?

JT: Primarily the ear-biting and the rape conviction. I think if you take away those two things, the perception would pretty much be gone.

K: You’ve known Mike for 20 years. Has it ever been scary working with him?

JT: No, [but] he said something interesting after seeing the movie: “You know, I always used to wonder why people said they were scared of me. [After] watching the film tonight, I’m scared of that guy.”

More from Tyson»

It’s been a long time since Scarface, but the world of drug trafficking has been through some remarkable changes. For instance, it looks a lot more like a Batman movie than you’d think…

A Vice TV doc just tipped us off to the strange phenomenon of narco-subs, underwater crafts that carry up to 10 tons of cocaine across the Pacific with as low a profile as possible. Naturally, they’re every bit as makeshift as you’d expect, but it’s still amazing what you can do with a bit of carpentry and fiberglass…

See the video»

It’s Hard Out There For a Model: Jezebel’s formerly anonymous model is beautiful. Also, disillusioned. Where’s Antonioni when you need him? [Jezebel]

If You Outlaw Nudity, Only Outlaws Will Be Nude: Scantily clad women finally make it onto the iPhone, courtesy of Sports Illustrated. [TechCrunch]

Are You Ready for the Country: The turbulent genius of Mr. George Jones. [A. V. Club]

The Commitment Drug: Party people pop oxytocin, also callled the trust hormone. But who knows who you’ll wake up engaged to? [BoingBoing]

Kroesin’: Fashion Gone Rogue has good choice in muses. [Fashion Gone Rogue]

A Cordial Occasion: In the shadowy den of the Corduroy Appreciation Club. [The Moment]

Is There Anything it Can’t Do?: No Mas graces us with an animated retread of Dock Ellis’s acid-assisted no-hitter. [Gawker]

Fantastic: Glenn O’Brien really liked Fantastic Mr. Fox, which is usually a good sign. [GQ Eye]

Ms. Waldorf, We Presume: Maybe it’s time to start watching Gossip Girl. [GQ]

Way Out West: ACL takes a tour of San Francisco’s UNIONMADE. What is it about places with giant flags? [A Continuous Lean]

Heavy Stuff: The well-aged charm of the medicine ball (and where to pick one up). [Valet]

Woah: The 12 trippiest drug scenes in the history of film, in order of batshit audacity. Iguana not included. [Vulture]