Vampira Lives: Alabaster exhibitionist Dita Von Teese avoids the sunlight. We’ll share the darkness with her any time. [NY Daily News]

Time Travel: Men’s Vogue cast their eyes forward to the Patek Philippe exhibition at Tiffany & Co, offering us some jaw-dropping preview images. [Men’s Vogue]

Courting the Bro’ Vote: There are conflicting reports about who placed those Abercrombie & Fitch jokers behind Barack Obama at a campaign speech. If, as reported, this was the Obama campaign’s attempt to reach out to young voters, it redefines “going negative” in our opinion. [WWD]

Tomorrow Never Knows: The Moment stares into the future and, as Kempt icon Leonard Cohen says, it’s murder. That, and chairs made of stuffed animals. [The Moment]

Rocky Road: Our Gisele pairs up with Sly Stallone to film a Volkswagen commercial for Brazilian television. We’ve been scratching our heads all day on this one. [NYPost]

Check List: Señor David Coleman takes on the whole plaid-on-plaid mishigas. [NYTimes]

Home Maker: In a last-ditch effort to save the housing market, Petra Nemcova has branched out into sexy, sexy field of real-estate development. [NYPost]

Separated at Birth: While Ashley Olsen made the Maxim “Hot 100 List,” Mary-Kate was left off the tally of the world’s hottest tail, thus solidifying her place as the “ugly one.” [Hollywood Scoop]

The Legion of Superheroes: The bright stars of society and fashion enjoyed the spandex and cowls on display at the Met Gala. We’ll just go ahead and presume our invites got lost in the mail. [NYMag]

Under the Burka: Islamic fashion designers just can’t win. [Turkish Daily News]

Vote Thin!: Barack Obama represents a, “shining new hope for skinny men,” and political marginalization for fatties. [Guardian UK]

Fitting End: Tailor to Sir Roger Moore and Ralph Lauren, Douglas Howard passes away at 73. [DNRNews]

Cool Britannia: English men are turning down sex in growing numbers, leaving more for the rest of us sloppy Yanks. [Men.Style]

Politicians are notoriously bad dressers—that’s a government salary for you—but if you’re enough of an icon, it doesn’t take much effort to become a style icon too.

After all, it’s called Kennedy chic for a reason.

The first contender to embrace the slim generation of suits (while his opponent is giving off slightly different signals), it’s no surprise that Obama’s a favorite for the GQ and Esquire crowd. Unlike the rest of the C-SPAN fodder, Barack manages to make suits look good. (Not so hard, really—but like we said, it’s a low bar.)

The overseas reaction»

Book Smart: Kate Beckinsale plays the “naughty librarian,” thus setting the Dewey Decimal System ablaze. [Hollywood Tuna]

Presumptive Nominee: Now that he’s locked up the primaries, it’s time to ask the important questions about Obama’s closet. [Brandish]

Problem Drinkers: Sip carefully: these wineglasses can kill. [NotCot]

Movin’ On Up: Atelier packs their bags for SHNOT. Gesundheit. [Racked]

Short Story: Ladies give you advice on swimsuit shopping. No banana hammocks allowed. [Refinery29]

There’s grassroots activism, and then there’s…this.

These Obamafied Air Force Ones were whipped up by a street artist known only as “Van,” and they’ve been making the rounds all day. They don’t quite rise to the level of Kennedy-chic; in fact, they throw the senator’s whole sartorial promise into question.

As a result, we’re throwing down the gauntlet and calling for Obama to denounce these irresponsibly ugly shoes. The American people deserve better than marker-soaked dunks marred by what one commenter correctly diagnoses as “wack execution.” Custom footwear may well be the largest challenge our next president will face. Unless we nip this in the bud, a McCain loafer can’t be too far off.

The senator’s office could not be reached for comment.