Armory Madness: Plum Sykes will be wearing a body-hugging, flesh-toned dress to 7th on Sale so she can avoid the dressing rooms. Try this with Lycra bike shorts and we don’t know you. [NYSun]

Giorgio’s Way: “No matter how hard I try, I will never persuade Sam Jackson to appear without a hat!” That and 20 somewhat more useful of rules for style appear in The London Times. Geez, that guy is everywhere these days.

Slacker Synergy: Mope/goof Jason Schwartzman is modeling for prep/punk Band of Outsiders. Seems right. [WWD 2nd Item]

Big Dummies: The industry is betting that you’ll wear whatever Brad Pitt, David Beckham and Sir Steven Redgrave are wearing. Wait… who? [The Independent UK]\

Closeout: Online Band of Outsiders sale at Blackbird. [HelloBlackbird]

Strapped: The YMYL unisex gadget holster—so geek, so sharp. [Refinery 29]

The Sartorialist Diet: Having problems losing those last, pesky 10 pounds? The man behind the camera suggests Corona and vests. [The Sartorialist]

Gabardine and Gravy: Brooks Brothers serves up a sale as good as Grandma’s sweet potato pie—and there ain’t nothing better than Grandma’s sweet potato pie. [Click for Details]

Shipley and Halmos

At this point, we’re almost hungover from the hangover. As the our impressions of Fashion Week drift slowly into what remains of our long-term memory, we arrive at the best of the best. Nervous?

2. Band of Outsiders:

Since visiting Scott Sternburg’s presentation early in Fashion Week, we’ve been hearing mixed reviews. More than likely, though, these returns were based more on Band of Outsider’s trend targeting than the quality of the clothes. The hunting motifs, plaids and English references on display were almost tired by this point. Sternburg’s narrow evening jackets, tartan pants and corduroy cargo pants (yes, you read that right) were spot on, however, even if they were riding the tail end of a bell curve. The blue-plaid hunting jacket and a double-breasted vest will most likely stand the test of fad. [Men.Style]

And the winner is…

Close Shave: Tom Ford releases men’s toiletries line (soap, shower gel, aftershave) to complement his signature cologne. Scratch the screen for a preview. Not working? Keep trying—it’ll happen. [DNRNews]

Season Opener: Suit up for the vernal equinox. [Refinery29]

Big Stink: Related - How to look like Colin Farrell smells. [Style Dash]

Mea Culpa; Apparently, a red club tie with contrasting white stripes is the universal signifier for, “Sorry, I was thinking with my jock.” [NY Times]

The Chicer Picker Upper: Ever eloquent with her actions, if not her words, Paris Hilton gracefully ends the celebrity-fashion-line era with her new collection of paper towels. [LA Times]

Plain White Ts: Gap will continue it’s indie designer collaborations program with Band of Outsiders, Michael Bastian, Philip Crangi and 3.1 Phillip Lim. Somehow, Threeasfour snuck in while no one was looking. [Racked]

Chuck Rock: The collision of Converse and gabba-gabba-hey. [The Guardian]

Labor Pains: That BR sweater you’re wearing for casual Friday might have blood on it. [One World]

Along Came a Spider: We knew a kid in High School who drove an Alfa Romeo, which was so cool because it was as sexy as a Porsche but cost less than our used Saab SE. We don’t know what to think about this new one. [Luxist]

Deal Alert: Suit up for your next expedition at Freeman’s Sporting Club and then stop in for a cut and shave. Tell Van we sent you. [Racked]

Hairy Beast: Arctic Muskox is the new hotness, dontcha know. [A Suitable Wardrobe]

Outside The Lines: Martin Greenfield shares his craft with Band of Outsiders. [Men.Style]

Screen Shots: DJ/Designer Matt Creed professes his love for Gawker - meaning it’s only mere moments before they sully his good name. [VanityFair.com]

Jessica Biel Carrying Justin Timberlake’s Lovespawn: Surprisingly, we approve. [Egotastic]

Duffer Droid: The worst part about a Robo Caddy? No course tips. The best part about a Robo Caddy? No cash tips. [Complex]

Natalie Portman Regrets Sex Scene: We, however, do not. [MTV]

Best Foot Forward: Armani creates Chelsea’s off-pitch suits for the Champions League final. We’re not really sure what that means, being American and all, but it sounds good. [Vogue UK]

Dressing the Part: Underneath this whole Mac vs. PC business lies an entirely different conflict: Steven Alan vs. Band of Outsiders. [A Continuous Lean]

Broad Range: Radha Mitchell has done indie flicks and Vin Diesel movies, so you know she’s flexible. [Esquire]

Endangered Species: Is the Gentleman in short supply? [Times UK]

Flavor of Love: After 10,000 years of history, Man perfects salt… with bacon. [Uncrate]

So Tru: Capote and Sinatra take up residence at Dunhill. [Men.Style]

Deal Alert: Bargains on Band of Outsiders, Cheap Monday and Shipley & Halmos at The News. [Racked]

Oh Zo’: One of our many, many girlfriends gives Black Book a dose of her loveliness. [Black Book]

And the Winners Are…: Some of our faves, including Scott Sternberg and Tom Ford bring home CFDA awards. [Nitrolicious]

Retail Valhalla: ACL shops at Odin. [A Continuous Lean]

Pick Up: A wallet made for all you weekend guitarists. [Uncrate]

Steven Collaborates: Mr. Alan teams up with Urban Outfitters. [Racked]

The Ties That Bind: The Korean Green Foundation claims that, “Going without a tie lowers the somesthetic temperature by 1 or 2 degrees, which could lead to a reduction in the amount of electricity used and a corresponding reduction in CO2 levels in the workplace.” Treehuggers. [Hani]

Not all of J. Crew’s collaborations are on the racks. This week, they launched a microsite with GQ dedicated to “rebel style,” with J. Crew merch giveaways on the side. (At least you’ll know where to spend it.)

The premise of the microsite is a 30 day crash course in becoming a “well-dressed rebel.” We aren’t sure if Shia LeBeouf is quite what comes to mind when we hear “well-dressed rebel,” but their guest, Scott Sternberg of Band of Outsiders, is a little closer to the mark. The biggest saving graces are the Vice Records soundtrack and bizarrely Godardian titles, both of which give the enterprise a lot more cred than it deserves.

There are a few unexpected tidbits, like Sternberg’s preference for short-sleeved dress shirts, but so far, the advice is pretty much what you’d get from the magazine—like popping the top button, sticking with upscale cotton suits, and curveball footwear. Then again, the site only releases one video a day (starting the day you sign up), so we’ll have to wait until September to get to the thrilling conclusion.