This week’s Loose Thread comes courtesy of the nonist, who just introduced us to the Japanese concept of chindogu, or unuselessness.

The utili-tie to the left is a prime example. At first, it seems like the ideal combination of the sartorial charms of the necktie with the practical need to carry safety scissors, a set of paper clips, a ruler, a passport, and various other office essentials. But after you consider it for more than thirty seconds, it becomes clear that the tie is wildly inefficient at both its intended uses. It’s not entirely useless, but even if it existed, it would never be used. It is, in other words, Chindogu.

More on this intriguing categorization»

The history of the novelty tie is pretty sordid. But even the piano-key necktie has the virtue of actually being a tie. This unfortunate item is really just the idea of a tie. And, as you may have guessed, it’s a very bad idea.

As usual, the mistake here is in the “quick” part. Wrapping a coat hanger around your neck may seem faster and easier than a half-Windsor, but if you’re in that much of a hurry, you might consider going tieless.

Or should we say, wireless.

Apparently we’re ahead of our time.

Seven months after we warned against the dangers of the v-neck, it’s blossomed into a full-fledged trend. If only they’d listened…

Today, Radar printed a call-to-arms against the rising tide of club-goers in deep V-necks. According to the article, which had the good grace to mention us as a source, the deep-V has replaced the striped shirt as the go-to outfit for the huddled masses crowding the door at the clubs everywhere. And if the bouncer reads Radar, God help you.

We render judgment on the deep v-neck once more»

We love innovation—and the fashion business certainly needs more not less—but it’s a risky business. For every good idea, there’s ten different bad ones, and for every genuine trendsetter, there’s another guy who’s wearing glued-together patches of denim.

Also, for every wise blogger championing the new, there’s another gushing about what he knows in his heart is a bad idea.

We’re giving our boy Takashi the benefit of the doubt here and assuming this is a knockoff.

Still, imagine the horrifying world we would enter if this sort of thing becomes common practice. So far the world of art and the world of things-you-can-imprint-on-your-jeans have remained blissfully separate. Nobody wants to see a formaldehyde-soaked shark sewn into your Levi’s. Pretty soon, that grungy-looking fellow with the paint-splattered chinos will be asking if you like his Pollocks.

Run, Banksy, run! Save yourself!

Bluetooth earpieces were always a bit creepy, and adding steampunk to the mix doesn’t help anything. It’s clever enough, but the Renaissance Fair vibe is the least of its problems.

We usually want earpieces to be sleek and functional, but after this we may have to add “doesn’t look like it will lay eggs in your brain” to the list.

When does a manly carryall become completely unacceptable? A bag is a bag is a bag, right?

Apparently not. We were impressed by acquire digging up this felt messenger bag, until we looked a little closer. Those “bottle pockets” aren’t for Aquafina, and it’s not waterproof because they want you to take it rafting. As for the built-in changing pad, it pretty much speaks for itself.

That’s right, gentlemen. It’s a diaper bag.

We’re just so disappointed. After a week or so, that felt will have absorbed all sorts of unpleasant odors. Here’s hoping nobody uses this for its intended purpose. You’ll ruin a perfectly good carryall.

There’s a lot of past out there, and if you’re digging through it looking for quirky accessories, there’s a lot to choose from. So choose wisely.

In that vein, FashionIndie is taking the lead predicting sock garters as the next big trend. We’ll admit they go well with a bowtie, but we just don’t see this happening. Elastic technology has come a long way in the last 80 years, so it’s a lot of straps with no real purpose.

And, unfortunately for this gentleman, they’re usually worn under the pant leg.