Clean Sheets: Lenny Kravitz, who has bedded about half of everyone you ever wanted to, has become inexplicably chaste. Go ahead and hate. [NY Post]

Big Deal: Emerging designer Alexander Wang signs with Japanese megastore Uniqlo. [Mpdclick]

Don’t Go Away Mad: Vice founder “Don’ts” himself out of a job, trains his jaundiced eye back on the streets. [Gawker]

Peace Out, Suckers!: Valentino disses his fellow designers, takes his basketball, goes home. [NYMag]

The Ride: The Maybach in your garage is soon to be obsolete. [Jalopnik]

Bye Week: Perfect human Tom Brady continues to do opposition research in our fair town. Doesn’t this guy have a home or something? [NY Observer]

Generation Gap: Zac Efron is on the cover of Details leaving us to ask, “what’s a Zac Efron?” [Details]

Chuck Rock: The collision of Converse and gabba-gabba-hey. [The Guardian]

Labor Pains: That BR sweater you’re wearing for casual Friday might have blood on it. [One World]

Along Came a Spider: We knew a kid in High School who drove an Alfa Romeo, which was so cool because it was as sexy as a Porsche but cost less than our used Saab SE. We don’t know what to think about this new one. [Luxist]

Deal Alert: Suit up for your next expedition at Freeman’s Sporting Club and then stop in for a cut and shave. Tell Van we sent you. [Racked]

Hairy Beast: Arctic Muskox is the new hotness, dontcha know. [A Suitable Wardrobe]

Outside The Lines: Martin Greenfield shares his craft with Band of Outsiders. [Men.Style]

Screen Shots: DJ/Designer Matt Creed professes his love for Gawker - meaning it’s only mere moments before they sully his good name. [VanityFair.com]

Love All: One of the few eligible bachelors with a 155 mph serve is engaged to S.I. swimsuit model, Brooklyn Decker, which is a solid excuse for us to run pictures of her. Thanks, Andy. [ESPN]

Tailgate Party: In other sporting news, this is how 24-year-old, Heisman-winning, multimillionaire starting NFL quarterback Matt Leinart rolls. How ‘bout you, Brah? [Sunday Morning QB]

Local Uni-Watch: New York readers may have a chance to check out the Blue Jay’s new powder-blue throwbacks today and tomorrow. Still, no one’s got more baller style than this guy. [ESPN]

Swapping Spit: In the grand Gallic tradition of poor public hygiene, several Frenchmen invaded Manhattan and attempted to set a world record for kissing. Gross, right? [Fleshbot]

In The Hood: Blue-eyed, honey-blond men’s fashion blogger, Amanda Brooks, finds style and substance in the lowly hoodie. [Men’s Vogue]

фантастично!: Moscow Fashion Week just doesn’t translate to Western style - but God bless them Ruskies for trying. [YouTube]

Chinese Take Out: With its increased high-end offerings, improved manufacturing techniques (not to mention its low valuation of human sweat) China is poised to take on Italy in the luxe suit game. [WSJ]

Freak Folk: Always on the hunt for a deep, sensitive mate, Natalie Portman is reportedly nuzzling up to Cripple Crow crooner Devandra Banhart. Yeah, we don’t know how we feel about this one either. We mean, he is wearing a woman’s jacket. [Egotastic]

Napoleon Complex: Lil’, wee plutocrat Nic Sarkozy is kicking up a press dust storm in his fierce heels. [Shoeblogs]

What Would Moz Do?: Dress like Morrissey and you’re set for life. [Style Salvage]

Spit and Polish: The geopolitics of the shoeshine. [NYT via On The Fly]

Throwing Sparks: Sharp dockside looks from Philip Sparks. [Philipsparks via Notcouture]

Blinded by the White: N.B. to African-American society partygoers - some photogs may require you use nametags. [Radar]

Environmental Hang Up: Going green starts at your dry cleaner. [Fox23]

Out of Africa: A brief history of the safari jacket. [Mercury News]

New Journalism: The Wall Street Journal is set to launch a new luxury magazine to compete with the Times’ glossy insert, T. Yes, yes - you’re right - they’re calling it WSJ. [Editor and Publisher]

Luxury Hacks: Next time you’re in Moscow, flag down a Maybach. [Autopark]

Home, Jeeves: In other auto news, The Chauffeur magazine has named its “Car of the Year.” The Chauffeur magazine? We should really get our guy a subscription for his birthday. [Autoblog]

Fresh Meat: These gory Eva Herzigova shots by Mario Testino have us hot, hungry and a little bit scared. [The Photography Link]

Curb Your Dog: Some horrid pooch went and peed on our beloved Natalie Portman while she was traipsing about the part with Freak-Folk boytoy Devendra Banhart. Gentlemen that we are, we already have a contract out on the hairy mutt (and the dog as well). [NYPost]

Drawers Raise a Stink: The latest banned ads in Europe aren’t by Tom Ford, but rather the product of Hanes’ anti-racism, anti-subtleness marketing department. [DNR]

Car-Port Chic: Ksubi, Maison Martin Margiela and Adam Kimmel create couture car covers for Intersection Magazine. [Intersection]

Designs from the Pokey: Germans are buying up prisoner-made clothes. The prisoners, predictably, not so much. [CNN]

Street Talk: Izzy points us in the direction of Times fashion photog Bill Cunningham’s new audio slideshow. [Manolo for the Men]

Pool Party: Jump into the pool with the U.S. synchronized swim team and get ready to doggy paddle. [Radar]

Bikini Classic: The best of 70s S.I. swimsuits. [HuffPo]

Life’s Little Victories: Now you can finally win something for being short. Huzzah! [ShortShrifted]

Road Warrior: Come the apocalypse, roll that old Civic out the garage. [Wired]

Ruh’ Oh: Thom Browne may be breaking up with Brooks Brothers. Who gets Black Fleece in the divorce? [NYMag]

From Rags to Stiches: Ex-secondhand store Aloha Rag gets a visit from our favorite critical queen. [NYTimes]