Although it may be outclassed by its French counterpart, the American Playboy is still good for something: science.
A pair of econometricians have pored through the Playboy archives with an eye to economic trends and confirmed a preexisting theory that in times of economic crisis—like now, for instance—men like their women a little taller, a little older, and a little more muscular. In short, we want farmer women to help us till the soil after the revolution comes.
Leaving aside the scientific dedication required to dig through the Playboy archives for months on end, we have to admit they have a point. The above picture makes as good a case as we can imagine for the benefits of the farmer woman, and the prospect of a few months working the plow will drive anyone to change their type. Eva Mendes may look good now, but she’s not as economy-appropriate as a Zooey Deschanel or a Maria Sharapova would be.
Of course, as the source notes, this year’s playmate of the year doesn’t quite fit the type either. Maybe that explains those circulation numbers…
—R.B.
